And then I ate it all

I like to eat. It's on of my favorite things to do. I didn't ever like to cook but as it became evident that eating out all the time wasn't a "good idea" I had to start cooking. Now, I have burned myself, steamed myself, broken dishes, melted spatulas, and destroyed about 50% of every meal I tried to cook. But I persevere, because I'm hungry. Pinterest has helped me to lust after delicious food. And, there are trials and there are errors. Sometimes I even eat what I cook. Sometimes, well, not so much.

So here's a round up of some things I have eaten, cooked, or just attempted in the culinary arts.

Egg Cups

It just seemed like a good idea. It really did.

Pinterest Mistakes

It didn't taste all that great.

Cookie Dough Dip

Sounds sublime.

Pinterest Success

Now, it didn't taste like cookie dough, but it did taste good. So, hey, winner.

triple layer chocolate peanut butter cake 

My sister came up with this one. Not sure if she found it on Pinterest but it's triple layer and decadent. We made it for Sarge's birthday. He likes peanut butter and chocolate.

I'd like mine with a scoop of Diabetes

It's Peanut butter mousse, on top of cheesecake, on top of brownie cooked with reeses pieces, and then all three covered in chocolate ganache and reeses pieces and cups. I only made the chocolate ganache, Gracie made the rest.

Skillet Chocolate chip cookie

Turned out fabulous

I did burn the shit out of myself making it....of course

Well, there's many more recipes I found on Pinterest and other websites that I tried, but I'll have to add them later, because, I'm hungry.

Rudy

Great Taste, No Carnies

When I was in college, way back in 2000, (to you who aren't good at Math, that's about 12 years ago) I had a large class called Art Appreciation in a huge lecture hall. It was upstairs in the Union of UNT and sometime during class, or what I liked to think of as a "break" I and my best friend and roommate Nikki would sneak downstairs to the snack place and buy snacks. Well, there was this one snack that really charmed the pants off of me.

MINI DONUTS.

Not the crappy powdered sugar ones made my hostess that are 2 years old, no hot fresh when you order them in a crazy donut making robot mini donuts. Dusted with cinnamon sugar. The were glorious. But as with all wonderful glorious things, they were fleeting. They didn't always run the machine, and it was usually broken. And after awhile they stopped selling them. I didn't have them again until I went to Pier 39 in San Francisco. And that's a helluva long drive for donuts my friends.

Well, guess what I just spied in my NEW FAVORITE CATALOG Kotulas. 


This heavenly automaton of the divine ambrosia known as mini-donuts:

I'd pay $1000 for this machine. 

Not only is it perfect, portable, and made from the stuff of my dreams. It's also written my my subconcious. Seriously, who the hell wrote the copy for this? Did I? Because it sounds exactly like how I would try to sell you a mini-donut maker.

"Mini Donut Factory--Great Taste, No Carnies

Now you can have a tasty treat without having some dude yelling at you to know down milk bottles to win a kewpie doll. This mini donut maker automatically forms, fries and drains delicious mini donuts in less than a minute? Just sprinkle with sugar, cinnamon or cocoa powder and serve. Don't forget that cold glass of milk. Enclosed oil fryer for minimum cleanup. Fun for any occasion. Can't you just taste them?"

Holy Shit-snacks!! Let me read you this line....

Great Taste, No Carnies---honestly you could not sell me more on this machine. No carnies. Hell yes.

 Fuck yeah I want that donut maker. Have you ever been to a carnival, bought $40 worth of paper tickets, waited in line for 10 minutes and then had to deal with the horrible manure stink of the person serving you? Yes, me too!! And I'm sick of it! Why is the carnival the only place I can get mini-donuts, or funnel cakes or COTTON CANDY! You and I both know there are bands of wild carnies that just roam around and try to steal children by tempting them with mini-donuts. And after two years with those fuckers I escaped using a slotted spoon and some old baby teeth I lost by only eating cotton candy. And I will never have my son forced to spray Pam on glass bottles while staring down 13 year old girls with his creepy toothless grin. No sir. I know my son will experiment with mini-donuts, and it's best if it happens in my house. Because I'm his mother. 

Sarge just saw this and said:

"No carnies, hell yeah, because Kotula's knows what the people want. And the people want no carnies!"

Let me read this other part,

Now you can have a tasty treat without having some dude yelling at you to know down milk bottles to win a kewpie doll. 

I don't have to spend the money to get harrassed by "some dude" who just wants me to take his dollie. I don't want your nasty lead poisoned dollie you Carnie.!

Oh god.

And to think I was going to buy a $20 fry Daddy!! How stupid would that have been? Damned stupid if you ask me. I was trying just the other day to make mini-donuts and when I stunk up the house and had to leave the burned donuts to the rabid opossums I thought to myself, this is the end of me and donuts. It just has to end now. 

But it doesn't!!

Listen to this line:

Fun for any occasion.

Yes, it is fun for any and all occasions. Mini donuts at a party, mini donuts at a football game, mini donuts at a funeral. No matter what happens, donuts make it better. Unless of course you're a carnie, and then you wouldn't be invited seeing as how this machine comes with a no carnie served rule.

Can't you just taste them?

Bitch, don't even taunt me like that. 

Pinning Porn

Ever go to Pinterest? I do. Daily. It's like my crack. It's a site with beautiful pictures of lovely stuff. It's mostly all PG, and mostly awesome food and super neat crafts. I'm sure it's what women do all day, as opposed to men who look at porn. Do I have any hard figures to back up my claim? Nope, but my pun is rock solid.

Here's my Pinterest page. It's ballerinas, craft projects, flowers and the like. Silly fun stuff. But, once in a while you'll see a picture of a Dude. And it's usually Ryan Gosling talking about how much he loves knitting, but it's rare. It leaves you with the idea that women never think about men. Well, women on Pinterest anyway.

Let me change the subject:

I have a new hollywood movie crush, he was the cutie "Eames" in Inception. I even went and saw a really bad movie with him in it. It was called "This Means War". It was horrible, but I adore him. The things a woman will do to stalk her new hollywood movie star crush. It's pathetic, really, but here he is.

It's this guy:

Well, the other day as I perused The Berry, a website for ladies who like shoes and shirtless guys I came across an adorable sexy photo of this dude. I usually don't pin pictures of dudes unless it's pictures of Fathers with their children. Mostly I pin crafty stuff. But for some reason, I pinned that sexy photo of him with the caption:

"Tom Hardy....I would make out with him until my face melted off"

Which i would by the way. Until my face melted off. 

Well, lets put it this way. I usually get at least one or two repins, and maybe a like or so.

When I posted this picture I got this:

That's right, 70 likes and 157 Repins.

I've never been so popular.

So apparently, all that crafting and Pinning makes the bitches HORNY.

Just thought I would share.

Found cylon art

So today in the pediatricians office we were in the castle room. There were lots of princesses, knights, a couple Shreks...and one cylon. I put up a picture of both. I'll let you guess which one is which.

Box wine and expired candy

I feel like eating myself into a stupor and drinking way too much wine.

Anyone want to join?

Found greatness

Sarge and I took a trip to Oklahoma to visit some friends a week or two ago. We went to the Sgt. Grit (Marine corps surplus store) headquarters and store and this was in the front door.

I added what I think the wind chime's creator was trying to say.

Rudy

Pictures of the strange

"The Thinker" By Rodin

"The Thinker" By Ruth with Hulk Hands

Nailed it.....