Saturday, February 15, 2014

Sherlock and Spike

So, I noticed something the other day while watching Sherlock on PBS. You know the one, with Bendydick Crumplepants?

I've realized just why I like him so much.

He just like Spike Speigel from Cowboy Bebop.

Rude and Rudy

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Mustaches and 4 year olds

My 4 year old is a half demon and half angel.

So, yesterday morning was like most mornings. Awful.

Rudy: Jedi please put on some pants, and socks. You need to get ready for school.

Jedi: (ignores me while he watches TV)

Rudy: Sweetheart, put on some pants, or I will turn the tv off.

Jedi: (ignores me)

I turn the TV off


I point to his bedroom angrily


I runs into his room screaming as though he's just been shot.

I'm putting the clothes on his sister Goose, and she's squirming and protesting.  I wonder if I'll be able to get their teeth brushed this morning or if that's just absolutely ridiculous.

5 minutes pass. No Jedi.

I go to his room and his closet door is shut.

I open the door to his closet, he's sitting on the floor pantsless, surrounded by all the pants in his drawer.

Rudy: It's been 5 minutes, why aren't you wearing PANTS YET!

Jedi: Close the door, CLOSE THE DOOR!!!!!

Rudy: I slam close the door and start counting loudly. So he know's I mean business.

It at 15 and he's still not out. Goose is standing clutching my legs and screaming. I pick her up and go back into the kitchen to gather all their stuff and shove it in the car and try to heat up the car because it's Texas and it's 40 degrees and that makes a lot of sense apparently. Thanks WEATHER.

He hears the front door slam as I prepare myself for Arctic conditions and trek out my 50 pounds of junk. And when I finish loading lunch bags, back packs, diaper bags and putting the heater on Carribbean Summer. He comes running into the living room wearing a pair of pants. And it only too a good 20 minutes of yelling.

I wish I felt proud of our joint accomplishments of getting him to wear some damn pants. But honestly I'm just frustrated.

Teeth brushing is forgotten.

I've gotten Jedi in his coat, Goose in her coat, and am walking out the door. I buckle up Goose in her Iron Maiden car seat and she wails. I get into the driver seat, buckle myself in and wait for Jedi to do the same.

JEdi: Mommmmmmmmmmm !!!!!

When did he stop calling me Mommy? Why does that make me so sad?

Rudy: Yes Jedi.

I turn around in my seat and see Jedi slumped halfway out of his chair.

Jedi in the most whining voice ever: I cant do ittttttttt.  Please, you do it for meeeeeeee????

I unbluckle myself, get out of the car into the frozen tundra, go around the car, open the door, and try to buckle him in as he goes completely limp, except for his hands which are clutched in his pockets.
I have to physically move him in to a seated position and wrench his hands from his pockets.

Rudy: Jedi, you need to take your hands from your pockets or I cant get them into your seat belt.

I pull harder on his hands and he lets go.

Rudy: Why do you have to make this so hard Jedi. I really wish you'd be nice to me and just behave.

Jedi: (In increasingly whiny voice) I can't be nice to me when you're all Cray Cray!!!

I burst out laughing in one of the loudest  guffaws I'd screeched out in a very long time.

I couldn't stop for awhile and he even started laughing although he didn't know what he did or said to make me laugh.

Cray Cray. My 4 year old son just called me Cray Cray. (slang for crazy)

I mean. Really? He's 4 years old!

Just this morning he had pudding for breakfast. (Don't judge me, he also had  waffles. So, there's some sort of grain or something in that.) And he came in with what looked like a tiny thin mustache. Which is weird on a blonde, let alone a child.

I laughed and told him I liked his mustache. He looked in the mirror and said,

"When I have a mustache I feel like a GUY!!!" And he flexed his arms.

Again, I respond by laughing uncontrollably.

Like I said, half demon, and half angel.

Friday, February 7, 2014

So many regrets

I have so many regrets, and they so often  involve pork and pork by products.

The hot dog filled with cheese and wrapped in bacon. 

This didn't turn out well. 

Neither did the pork chops, or the pork roast. 

It took years to finally figure out how to cook bacon.

I just don't have the stamina to try any more. 

Oink oink, I'm done.

Thursday, January 9, 2014

New Artwork New Logo

I haven't updated my website in a very long time. I think 2-3 years. After 2 years of searching, taking web design classes, searching for jobs and updating all my work, I had given up on getting a full time job and focused on just being a stay at home Mom. But I'm getting the itch again and need to update my portfolio in the off chance I could get a full time design position somewhere in the universe.

I have been trying to come up with a new business card logo, and subsequent website header. I wanted to have a nice business card that was memorable, and also kind've created a brand around myself. I'm not sure this is my final one. I have hundreds in my sketchbook, but I just wanted to come up with some ideas. I was fooling around one day and after eating a Baby Ruth candy bar had a lightbulb moment.

I came up with some logo's that used the look of the candy bar, you know, because my name is Ruth and I'm delicious and nutty.

I'd appreciate any feedback.

Option A (too much like the inspiration)

Option B

Option C

Option D

I'm not a fan of copying things and using them as my own, I don't want to copyright infringe, and the first one is very "infringy". The first one was heavily based of the logo, and I thought it was way too much alike, so I tried to change it up some. 

Thursday, December 19, 2013

What's happening here?

So, I was decorating for Christmas. I was looking for the Fisher Price Nativity scene we had gotten from Meme. It gets hidden a lot since it makes noise, and our little Jedi likes pressing the button non stop until our ears melt. Parts get misplaced etc. I had originally put them all together and hid them, but somehow he finds it and demands to play with it.

Well, when I found it to place it upon the shelf with dignity as befitting a fisher price replica of the Nativity, I found only the baby Jesus, Mary, and a donkey and a camel.

So I improvised. Honestly, If Jesus could have a choice I think he would have choses the kick-ass version I constructed from loose toys I found in the toy-box.

From left to Right:
Knight, Turbo the Snail, Happy Dragon, Mary, Baby Jesus,
Wolverine, Donkey,
Camel, Samson action figure.

Wow, can you imagine how epic Jesus' birth would be if he had this kind of company?  It's like Michael Bay's version of the Savior's Birth.

The Samson action figure was given to us by Sarge's sister April. It was the store's effort to make the biblical hero's cool. So apparently, the divine gifted strong man of the old testament, SAMSON was a blonde blue eyed gentile, and also, wow there sure was a lot more spandex in the old testament than I had thought.

I found the angel that sits atop the stable later under my son's bed. But it was covered in some sort of brown stuff. Poop? Chocolate? I have no idea. But it sure gives a new meaning to the phrase "Angels with dirty faces".


Thursday, December 5, 2013

Duluth trading illustrations

I got a catalog in the mail called Duluth Trading company. It sells comfort wear for the "Working Man" Lots of flannel, carpenter jeans and the like. They have an interesting fix for many the working person's quandries.

I can't swing my ax very far because my shirtsleeves dont have enough give.
 the armpit gusset

I cannot crouch in my jeans because my balls get all squished.
crotch gusset called the "the ballroom jeans"

Tired of showing off your plumbers crack
Try the extra long t shirt,  called crack spackle. It even comes in an adorable spackle tub.

Another wonderful little gimmick are their commericals and their illustrations.

I would love to know who the illustrator and marketing team were who came up with this.

Because, kudos to you people, making me laugh just might have brought you a future customer.

Look to the right bottom corner, yep that guy is hilarious

The Bushwacker, is to to funny.

Crack Spackle

Ballroom jeans

Watch this video and try not to giggle.

I'm not getting paid to write this or anything. It just made me laugh. I like the use of cartoons, and all the pithy sayings.


Wednesday, November 27, 2013

12 months or as we call it here, 1 Year old

A week ago, my little Goose became a 1 year old.

It feels like her first year went so much faster than Jed.i's. I have heard that as you get older, time seems to speed up. When I was I kid, my days and years were so long. But now, it just washes past me.

Here's a little view of where we started.

1 week old

1 month

2 months

3 months

4 months

5 months

6 months

7 months

8 Months

9 months

10 months
11 months
12 months old
I can't believe the first year is over. I feel so melancholy, and yet I wouldn't have wanted my daughter to not have reached this milestone. I try to remember the very wise words of Dr. Seuss,

"Don't cry because it's over, Smile, because it happened."

The great thing about Goose is, it's not over.